How to Define and Achieve Personal Success

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” — Albert Schweitzer

I’ve had this conversation more times than I can count. High-achievers, driven individuals, people who have done everything right, only to wake up one day feeling unfulfilled, restless, and uncertain about the things they’ve spent years building.

Because the most significant lie about success is that it’s something you reach. Something external. Something measured by money, status, power, and validation—things that look impressive but often feel hollow once attained.

We’ve all seen it: the executive with wealth but no peace, the influencer with status but no real identity, and the entrepreneur who builds a business only to realise it’s just another job.

The problem isn’t that they didn’t work hard enough. It’s that they never defined what success meant to them. They spent years chasing someone else’s vision, collecting achievements that felt important at the time, only to wake up lost in a life that doesn’t align with who they indeed are.

If you don’t define success for yourself, someone else will.

And odds are, that definition won’t be built for your happiness, fulfilment, or personal freedom—it will be built for the system’s benefit.

Step 1: Reject the Default Definition of Success

You are handed a definition of success from the moment you're born.

It comes from parents who want the best for you but can only teach what they know. It comes from teachers who reinforce the same narrative because they were taught it, too. It comes from media that glorifies material wealth over internal peace.

So you absorb the script without question, believing that happiness is a number in your bank account and that job titles and external validation determine your worth. That success is always somewhere in the future, never in the present.

But let’s look at the reality:

• The wealthiest people in the world often struggle with depression, addiction, and loneliness.

• People at the “top” of their industries still battle impostor syndrome and burnout.

• Thousands of people spend their entire lives chasing, accumulating, and proving—and still feel like it’s not enough.

Success isn’t just about reaching the top. Because if the ladder is against the wrong wall, every step takes you further from where you want to be.

So before you keep climbing, you need to stop and ask:

Whose definition of success am I following?

Does this vision align with what I want, or was it handed to me?

If no one was watching, what would success look like if I didn’t need validation?

Step 2: Define Your Telos—How to Measure Success in Life

Most people live without ever truly understanding why they do what they do. They wake up, go to work, chase promotions, seek validation, and accumulate accomplishments—but for what? 

If you ask them why they pursue these things, the answers are vague:

• "Because it’s what I’m supposed to do."

• "Because it’s how success works."

• "Because I want to be financially secure."

But security, money, and status are not purposes. They are byproducts of success, not the source of it. And yet, so many people build their entire lives around these external markers, never realising they are just playing a game designed by someone else.

Success without an internal foundation—without a clear Telos—is like sailing without a compass. You might move fast and cover distance, but you have no idea if you’re going in the right direction. And by the time you realise it, you’ve spent years climbing a mountain that was never yours to climb.

What is Telos? The Key to Real Success

Telos (τέλος) is a Greek concept that means “ultimate purpose” or “end goal.” It’s not just what you do—it’s the reason behind it. It’s the force that makes your actions meaningful.

Your Telos gives direction to your ambition, clarity to your decisions, and fulfilment to your achievements. Success feels random, hollow, or temporary without it because you never truly know what you’re building toward.

Telos vs. Traditional Goal-Setting:

• Traditional Success: Chase external markers—titles, income, approval—hoping they lead to fulfilment.

• Telos-Based Success: Align every decision with your core purpose, making success an extension of who you are, not just what you achieve.

  
  

Most people never ask themselves what they truly want because they fear the answer. It might not align with what they’ve been working toward. It might mean they have to let go of paths they once thought were important. It might mean starting over.

But the truth is, you don’t start over when you redefine success—you finally start moving in the right direction.

Three Questions to Uncover Your Telos and Achieve Personal Success

1. What excites me beyond money or status? Forget financial incentives for a moment. What is something you could dedicate your life to—even if there was no guarantee of wealth or recognition?

2. What kind of impact do I want to leave on the world? What do you want to have created, changed, or contributed when you are gone?

3. What would I pursue if I had no fear, limitations, or external pressure? If nothing could hold you back—not expectations, not doubt, not the opinions of others—what would you dedicate yourself to?

Why Most People Avoid Defining Their Telos

If finding your Telos is so powerful, why don’t more people do it? Because it forces them to confront the uncomfortable truth: They might be living out someone else’s vision.

The Fear of Change

Many people hesitate to question their path because change is uncomfortable. What if the life they’ve built isn’t the one they actually want? What if success, as they’ve always defined it, turns out to be meaningless to them?

But here’s the reality: You are not bound to the path you started on. The most incredible freedom you will ever experience is the ability to redefine success for yourself at any moment.

The Fear of Judgment

Society rewards people for following the conventional path. If you step off it and dare to say, “I want something different,” you will face resistance. People will tell you you’re unrealistic. They will say you’re throwing away opportunities. But they don’t have to live with your decisions—you do.

The Fear of Failing at What Matters

If you chase the traditional definition of success and fail, at least you can say, “Well, that’s what everyone else was doing.” But if you pursue your real Telos and fail, it feels personal. That’s why many people never fully commit to what they truly want—failing at something that matters hurts more than succeeding at something that doesn’t.

But what’s worse? The temporary discomfort of failure or the lifelong regret of never trying?

Step 3: Reverse Engineer Your Definition of Success

Most people don’t fail because they lack intelligence, talent, or ambition. They fail because they lack a process. They hope success will happen rather than deliberately engineering it.

We live in a world that glorifies motivation, but motivation without direction is like stepping on the gas without knowing where you’re going. You’ll burn energy and feel like you’re moving but end up lost or exhausted.

The truth is that successful people don’t wait for clarity—they create it.

Most people approach success in one of three ways:

1. The Passive Drifter – They follow whatever opportunities come their way, never questioning if they align with their goals. They wake up years later, wondering how they got there.

2. The Overachiever Without a Strategy – They work hard, but their energy is scattered. They chase productivity, constantly moving but never genuinely progressing.

3. The Architect of Their Success – They reverse-engineer their vision. They start with the end goal and work backward, identifying every step needed to make it a reality.

   
   

You want to be the architect.

How to Reverse Engineer Success: The Blueprint Approach

What would your ideal life look like if you were given a blank slate, no societal rules, and no external expectations? Most people never ask this question. But if you don’t design your life, someone else will do it for you.

Reverse engineering success means working backward from your ultimate vision—breaking it down into tangible, actionable steps. This prevents you from chasing distractions and forces you to focus only on what truly moves the needle.

Step 1: Define Your Ultimate Destination

• Imagine yourself 10 years from now. Where are you? What does your daily life look like? Who have you become?

• This isn’t just about career or money—it’s about lifestyle, relationships, freedom, and impact.

• The more precise the vision, the easier the path. Vagueness leads to confusion, and clarity leads to execution.

Step 2: Identify Key Milestones

• What would you need to accomplish if you had to achieve that vision in 5 years instead of 10?

• What needs to happen in the next 3 years, 1 year, 6 months, and 90 days?

• Think skills, relationships, mindset shifts, financial moves, and personal growth.

Step 3: Create a System of Daily Execution

• Success is not about working harder but consistently working on the right things.

• Identify the 3-5 daily habits that will compound over time and move you closer to your goal.

• Eliminate distractions that don’t align with your Telos. Every “yes” to something meaningless is a “no” to your purpose.

Most people fail because they spread their energy too thin. They try to achieve multiple unrelated goals simultaneously, dividing their time and attention. But success is not about doing everything—it’s about doing the right things in sequence.

What This Means for You:

• Focus on one primary goal per season. Mastery comes from depth, not surface-level effort.

• Cut out unnecessary commitments that don’t serve your ultimate vision.

• Stop consuming endless information. Execution is what separates those who succeed from those who stay stuck.

People confuse motion with progress. They read books, watch motivational content, and journal about their goals, but they don’t take the real, uncomfortable action that leads to transformation.

Execution Questions to Ask Yourself:

• Am I making progress, or just staying busy?

• Is what I’m doing today moving me toward my ultimate goal, or is it just keeping me distracted?

• If I kept repeating my current habits for 10 years, would I arrive at my vision?

If your answer is no, it’s time to adjust.

Step 4: Measure Success by Internal Fulfilment, Not External Validation

Most people think success is a finish line, a destination, a place where, once they arrive, everything will click into place.

They spend years chasing external validation—the job title, the big house, the luxury car, the social media following. And yet, when they finally reach the top, something feels off.

Because success without internal fulfilment is just another form of failure.

This is why some of the most "successful" people are deeply unhappy:

• The CEO has millions but no time to enjoy life.

• The influencer who lives for likes but feels unseen in real life.

• The entrepreneur who built a business they don’t even love anymore.

Why? Because they built success for the world to see, not for themselves to feel.

The real question isn’t “How successful am I?” but “Does my success make me feel alive?”

If the answer is no, you need to redefine the game you’re playing.

The Difference Between External vs. Internal Success

External Success: Looks good on paper. It impresses other people. Built around comparison and validation. 

Internal Success: Feels right in your soul. Aligns with your purpose. Built around meaning and fulfilment.

External success is performance. You do what will be praised.

Internal success is alignment. You do what feels right—even if no one notices.

Most people chase external success first, hoping it will lead to internal success. But the truth is, it works the other way around.

Fulfilment comes first. External rewards follow.

How to Measure Success by Fulfilment Instead of Validation

Step 1: Shift from Outcome-Based Goals to Alignment-Based Goals. Most people set goals like:

• “I want to make $1M.”

• “I want to gain 100K followers.”

• “I want to be featured in Forbes.”

But these are just numbers, and numbers alone don’t create fulfilment.

Instead, ask: Will this goal bring me more freedom, purpose, and joy? Does this path feel aligned, or am I doing it because I "should"? If no one could see my success, would I still want it?

Step 2: Define Your Metrics for Success 

Society measures success by money, status, and recognition. But your version of success should be unique to you.

Ask yourself: What are my objective metrics for success?

✔ Freedom: Can I control my time, or am I a prisoner to my obligations?

✔ Peace: Do I feel at ease, or am I constantly stressed and anxious?

✔ Impact: Am I doing something that genuinely matters to me?

✔ Growth: Am I evolving or stuck in a loop of repetition?

✔ Fulfilment: Do I wake up excited for my life, or am I just getting through the day?

Step 3: Stop Chasing Validation & Start Trusting Yourself 

Many people stay trapped in external success cycles because they are addicted to validation.

• They chase degrees because their parents expect it.

• They stay in jobs they hate because society respects the title.

• They post on social media not to share but to be seen.

The moment you stop seeking permission to feel successful, you become free.

You don’t need the world to applaud you, and you don’t need your success to look a certain way. You need to trust that your path is right for you.

Real success is built from internal freedom, not external pressure.

How to Know You’re Truly Successful: 

• You wake up excited for your work, even if no one recognises it. 

• You feel calm and free, not burdened by pressure and stress. 

• You measure progress by how alive you feel, not by numbers on a screen. 

• You don’t need validation—you trust your path.

Success is Not Something You Chase—It’s Something You Build

Most people will spend their entire lives chasing someone else’s version of success. They will wake up every day following a script they never wrote, climbing a ladder they never questioned, hoping they will finally feel complete when they reach the top.

But here’s the truth:

Success is not a destination—it is a way of being. It is not found in money, titles, or applause. It is found in the quiet certainty that your actions are aligned with your purpose.

You do not need to prove yourself to anyone. The moment you stop seeking external validation, you truly start living.

If your success doesn’t feel fulfilling, it’s not real success. It’s time to redefine the game, rewrite the rules, and create a path that is yours—and yours alone.

The real question is: Will you keep playing by someone else’s rules, or will you finally step into the life you were meant to live?

Most people will read this, feel inspired, and return to their routines. Nothing changes unless you decide it does.

Right now, you have two choices:

Stay on the path you were given. Keep chasing, keep proving, and keep hoping that someday, external success will fill the void.

Take control of your life. Define success on your terms, create a strategy to achieve it, and start living with honest intention.

Success doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you decide to create it. Not tomorrow. Not “someday.” Right now.